If you don't read Soggy in Milk I don't blame you but I wrote about sex tonight. I feel silly because I'm blushing. I haven't written about my sex life like that in a while. There hasn't been much to write about. I used to have very different sex. And I am showing great self restraint by not babbling this on facebook. My former coworkers don't want to know. gak.
Ok, so it’s all lame and silly and stuff but I feel kind of absurdly proud that I took a bath today with both girls and all three of us got scrubbed from head to toe. I think I feel as proud as I do because no one ended up crying. Like, “Holy Shit. I’ve arrived. I’m an honest-to-Gawd parent with skillz.”
And then I put Calli in a back carry by myself and did chores. Seriously. This is what I am now proud of. Boy howdy is life different than it used to be. And I like it.
This is really not normally my speed. Most of the time my attitude is, “What a complete and total waste of money.” But uhm this pregnancy I seem to be feeling differently. I think that at least part of my change in attitude right this moment is I now understand just how little time and energy I will have after the baby arrives. And I have very little physical ability to do some of this right now. Oy.
So! I am thinking about doing a spa day. It makes me cringe thinking about how expensive it will be. Yet, I’m going to do it. Uhm, if anyone doesn’t want to hear about it don’t open the cut. Continue reading
What is up with all the random dudes hitting on me on okcupid lately? I think I’ve been getting a message a day for about two weeks. Yes, I’m breathtakingly beautiful. Sure. Fine. I’m also married, pregnant, and super fucking cranky. (I am *not* listed as available.) Lame! Go away or I will post a picture of my stretch marks so that you do not find me so attractive any more!
Tonight Noah revealed to me just how apt Going on a Bear Hunt is as a metaphor for picking noses.
Ew.
I just figured out how to check the stats on who is visiting my journal. I get a crap-load of traffic. Who the hell are all these anonymous visitors?!
Noah is teaching Shanna how to tell “jokes.”
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Poop!”
“Ask me if I’m an alligator.”
“Are you an alligator?” (she said this surprisingly well)
“Poop!”
*sigh*
Could you people post a few times today? I really want to get that annoying auto-start video off my main page. Thanks! 🙂
Every time I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I spread the peanut butter on the bread and then I use the same knife in the jelly jar. Then I cackle.
The internet is not giving me what I want. Stupid internet. I want to make a whole bunch of pasta sauce (I am now canning enabled!) and all of the recipes are for 2-5 cups of sauce. I know I can just multiply the recipe but I would feel safer knowing that a recipe was intended as a large batch one because sometimes you don’t really want to just multiply straight across the board.
Stupid internet.
It’s going to be a good day. Shanna slept for 10 hours without nursing and got up and pooped a bunch in the potty. How could we have a bad day after that? 😀
So I went to www.findyourspot.com and answered questions. Here are the top 24 places that site thinks I should live:
Little Rock, Arkansas
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Salem, Oregon
Eugene, Oregon
Charleston, West Virginia
Shreveport-Bossier City, Louisiana
Corvallis, Oregon
Alexandria, Louisiana
Portland, Oregon
Santa Cruz, California
Monroe, Louisiana
Santa Barbara, California
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Ventura, California
Frederick, Maryland
Medford, Oregon
Baltimore, Maryland
Hartford, Connecticut
Valencia, California (Ironically–this is right around where I was born.)
Providence, Rhode Island
Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Palo Alto, California
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Champaign-Urbana, Illinois
They didn’t have a question for, “Please sweet Jesus keep me away from the bible belt.”
Noah is taking Shanna out for a few hours. I’m going to take a bath. I’m going to shave my entire legs instead of just the really awful part below my knee. I’m going to have a glass of wine. (I really don’t care that it is 11am.) I’m going to read in the tub until the water is freezing. I’m going to use all the lovely skin-softening bath products I own and never use. I’m going to straighten my hair.
I’m not going to do a single chore.
I could get used to this.
We got a Leap Frog Alphabet Pal from a friend. It has several different modes–one of them “letter sounds.” Noah suggested making it say dirty words. It won’t! They have it blocked. When you have it sound out a dirty word it breaks to giggles and says, “That tickles!”
Oh man. That’s awesome.
One of the few ways in which Noah is less than perfect is his complete lack of knowledge of 80’s cult films. I was being a dork and declared, “No more yankie on my wankie!” and he was very confused. He doesn’t think it’s funny. He has never seen the movie.
I feel so alone! *waaaaaaaaaa*
*cough*
🙂
Do I know anyone going to http://www.yaoicon.com/? 🙂
Shanna was really cheerful and sweet and tolerant all through the shower this morning. Sometimes she’s not, so this was awesome. She was even tolerant of me lying her on the floor of the bathtub so I could get out without dropping her or falling. That is a major concession in her world. So then I wrap towels around each of us and walk in to the changing table. She starts to fuss right before I lay her down. When I bend over to put her on the table I notice…
Big. Huge. Gobs of cheese dripping down my collar bone to my breast and stomach. She’s covered from chin to navel with cheese.
*sigh* So much for not smelling cheesy today.
And of course since she has purged she must refill the tank and nothing will do but nursing for a while.
I used to be able to leave the house in under thirty minutes. Now when I call someone at 9:30 I tell them I *might* be able to get there at 11:30. I’ll call when I can leave the house. *sigh*
Before anyone gets their back up… I’m talking about me.
I just spent an hour of precious nap time (it’s when I can get up and do stuff unfettered) hanging rope in the backyard and putting diapers up to line dry. I’m line drying my fucking cloth diapers. What happened to my life?!!
Before anyone asks why: the sun is a natural bleach. Diapers, even well washed diapers, eventually start to look like they are catching what they are catching. 🙂 The cloth diaper freaks all swear by line drying to keep diapers unstained so I am giving it a shot.
The real kicker? I raided the toybag for the rope and clothespins. At least I didn’t have to cut up my zippers.
(I need a dirty hippy icon. Or a 50’s housewife. In fetish gear. Hmmmmm….)
Next weekend is going to be nuts. Friday we have our first play date in the afternoon! We (munchkin and I) are going to a Gymboree class with our neighbor. Then there is the county fair Weird Al show that night. Saturday is the wedding of one of Noah’s college friends. Sunday is a BBQ with my family for my nephew and niece’s birthdays. Oh man I hope Shanna has patience for all that running around.
A random question. I now have the garage cleaned up. The house needs minimal maintenance to stay pretty decent. So I’m going to start figuring out sewing. The project that has been in stasis for about four years (good grief) is to finish my Victorian underwear. Given how cute the bloomers and chemise are so far… I’m sort of tempted to just wear them as an outfit. The question: how odd of looks do ya’ll think I would get? 🙂 [for the record: the bloomers are not split crotch.]
So I’ve had someone semi-stalking me for a while now. I find it absolutely hilarious. This person has created 22 different AIM accounts to keep stalking me when I ignore comments. I blocked a few then realized that if I stopped responding the person assumed the name was blocked. I know that one should never ever acknowledge trolls because it encourages them, but sometimes I can’t resist. I think this is awesome. I have a stalker! All of the names are some version of (strangeadjective) and salmon or trout. This is funny.
Right now I am asking him questions. He’s not answering very well. At this point I would like my stalker to hear and understand: hygiene is not the enemy. It’s ok to wash with soap.
Today he is EconomicalTrout. I wonder if he is feeling broke?