Tag Archives: yay

I do *this* well.

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I have now had official confirmation that the school deliberately places 504 and IEP kids in my class. There is (apparently) already a very firm official position that I am remarkably helpful and willing to work with kids who have issues. I feel really good about this. It makes me happy that the kids feel like they are having an unprecedented amount of success and so do their parents. This rocks so hard because *no one* thinks my class is easy. The kids who took this class because it is “easier than AP” acknowledge that the workload is quite sophisticated and difficult and they are having to work really hard for their A.

Wow. This feeling so rocks.

Looking for grateful

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*deep breath*

It was… quite a weekend. Lots of that processing shit, but a few large break throughs which really rocked.

Those of you who told me why you respect/love me–thank you. I keep rereading them and just knowing that you cared enough to respond is so awesome.

I still have the best husband ever. He is so incredibly supportive of my crazy that it just isn’t even funny. I win.

I have an upcoming visit with one of my very favorite Bostonians. YAY! It will be happening right on the heels of… my first ever trip to Vegas. I expect much fun and silliness and amazing as we are seeing Cirque (several shows) and Blue Man Group. 🙂 How is that for a Valentine’s present? 🙂

Stuff is still being hard, but I’m trying really hard to stop and see the wonderful in my life. I really am incredibly lucky.

They did it!

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We still technically have one assignment left, but unless they simply *don’t do it* (which isn’t likely as everyone has worked their asses off) there will be 22 F’s for all of my classes. At the last grading period there were 48 F’s.

I can’t believe they did it. Ok, I want to cry. At least for once these days it is out of happiness. 🙂

(And of these 22 F’s, more than half of them are basically never here so of course they are failing. Two of them don’t have the credits to graduate anyway and they are leaving school in February when they turn 18 so they have been showing up just to avoid being fined. And a couple have severe learning disabilities and the fact that they have a high F is a big deal for their progress.)

First haul

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Two reams of paper. Many many candy canes. Some seriously high end chocolate. Home made white chocolate candies. Cookies. Skittles. A neat little book tree ornament. AND bitchin black/red/white argyle skull and crossbone knee socks.

Hell yeah. 🙂

Really good day with kidlets

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My kids are working hard today. 2nd period was great and that rarely happens. 🙂 The juniors are writing an in class essay (I decided this late last night when I realized I didn’t want to teach today) and working very hard and taking it very seriously.

And 4th period I was called to sub for another teacher. Usually I turn this down, but I have little to do today, so what the heck. I had *fun*. It was a Spanish 1 class and the teacher has a backup copy of Pinocchio in Spanish for them. They watched the ending but then we had half an hour of nothing to do… uhm… Hey! How about if I tell you the real story of Pinocchio! Oh shit… that didn’t take that long… Want to hear about Beauty and the Beast? How about The Little Mermaid? Cinderella?

I had a blast telling them the original versions of the stories and they were really attentive and interested and great. yay!

And my babies are cheerfully signing up to bring me food tomorrow for eating as we watch cartoons. 🙂 Skating till vacation rocks.

Not to mention that my 2nd period aide got all teary-eyed because I gave her nice bath stuff (she’s exceptionally girly). And my 3rd period flamer aide is so happy about the feather boa. And 5th period bounced like a 4 year old when he saw his legos. He’s playing with them right now. 🙂

Letter from a parent

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This is from the woman who made me cry yelling at me a few weeks ago…

“Hi
First I am sorry if I made you cry but I’m sure you can understand my situation. I cry too, because it’s just me doing it all, and it is frustrating.
I wanted to thank you for helping B and for being so understanding. Too many teacher are apathetic and are unwilling to put out the effort ( then why teach? ). I don’t think they see that the effort they make can change a life. Thank you! because you did make the effort and it has eased Bri’s life immeasureably. She tells me about the fun she has in your room and about being the “8th period class”… honestly she is eating it up.
You know my back ground, I believe any time spent on a kid is never wasted time. You have made an impact that will have a lasting effect. Thank you. Now if you could just give lessons to some of the other teachers, and administrators at that school. Oh well ( heavy sigh…) Know that you are changing the world one person at a time but that person will go on and change the lives of others. Pretty amazin’

Thank you so very much- N

P.S. Coffee some time?

PPS keep this letter for those days when you forget why you teach…so you will rememeber the remarkable thing you are doing.”

I’ll keep the letter.

This student is chronically ill and has had a miserable time trying to keep up with school work in between hospital trips. She is also a very depressed cutter from a poor family and she has to work to help pay the rent. In between her job and trying to catch up on school work she has been starting to make herself sick again. I told her to just not worry about it till after Christmas when things slow down at work cause I have faith she can catch up then. I think that’s why her mom sent the letter.

Hey wait… I have 5 free minutes?!

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I would like to make this in-depth. We’ll see how much I manage in the next few minutes.

I’m such a roller coaster. My life is great and wonderful and incredibly frustrating so I’m up and down more than I like. For example: this Saturday I started out in a terrible mood for no specific reason. I was just feeling horrible and awful. I was assured that I wasn’t actually taking it out on Noah, but I was sure being pissy near him. *sigh* Then I got a call from my beloved stand in mom, ditenebre (did that code work?) saying she had comp tickets for Dickens Fair that we could have for this weekend. Originally I didn’t think we would be able to go on Saturday given the list of things we wanted to get done in the day, but she wouldn’t be there on Sunday so we decided to make it on Saturday despite the inconvenience and my general pissiness. I decided to wear my corset cause… well, I could. And it was an attempt to feel dressy cause I don’t get to do that much these days.

We were both so happy we went. The day there was wonderful. I got to be reminded that there are actual real live groups of people who like me! Dude!! I feel very isolated most of the time lately and it is hard to remember that people like me. At Dickens we couldn’t walk 3 minutes without someone being ecstatic to see me and often jumping up and down before hugging me hard. My self esteem drastically needed that. I felt happier than I have been in a while, and I haven’t exactly been miserable lately. A hot girl at Dark Garden played dress up with me and I ended up leaving with a sheer gorgeous black shirt that sorta barely covers me, but is entirely flattering in the process. And hey–said hot girl dressed and undressed me several times. I so win. Many hot and lovely boys flirted with me like crazy. I very sadly had to turn down the many kisses offered because my cold sore isn’t completely healed yet, but I was quite flattered that I was having to turn them down constantly. 🙂 Oh baby the flirting rocked. 🙂 When I finally got to Fezziwig’s I was passed from boy to boy to boy and that rocked. I did have it reaffirmed to myself that it isn’t that I miss dancing that much, I miss dancing with terpsichoros. He taught me how to dance and I can follow his lead better than any one else’s. I like dancing with other people, quite a bit even. But with him I feel light and graceful and beautiful. Thank you honey for introducing me to dancing. I will never be able to repay the debt I owe you.

So many other lovely and wonderful people. Miss barelyproper did my hair and I left it in all weekend and was thrilled. And and and… too many people to name. I love you all. I was so happy to see you. I was asked if we would be returning and told that as a bribe people could arrange comp tickets to get me there. 🙂 I am strongly considering it. One day may not have been enough. I am so grateful that ditenebre gave me the opportunity to go. Thank you. I really needed that.

And then on Sunday we got a Christmas tree!!! That rocked. It was a serious pain to put up and it still seriously leans. *grin* It’s as non-straight as I am! Then Noah’s dad called. … Intimidating much? It was a very interesting conversation. He went a long way towards repairing the anger I was feeling in his direction and expressed a great deal of support for my position with regards to Noah’s mom. I’m grateful for that. He is right that I don’t really understand his position, but I’m glad he is willing to understand how hard I have worked to get away from people like his wife. That made me feel much better, which in turn relieves some of the stress between Noah and I right now. Yay all the way around.

I have been forgetful like crazy lately and seriously beating myself up about it. But I’m trying really hard to get that under control. Cause despite my negative self talk, I am smart. I am capable. I am good at most of the things that matter in my life. I’m just also very overwhelmed. It’s ok that I make mistakes when i’m massively overwhelmed. 10 days till Christmas break.

Oh! And my AP (assistant principal) observed me yesterday. She had only positive things to say so far. We haven’t had the official sit down meeting, but when we walked past each other she stopped to note that I have really great classroom control and excellent relations with the kids. She specifically said, “You are great at noticing when someone gets off task and getting them back on track without it being a disruption of the overall class and the kids take it well which shows that you have a very positive relationship with them in general.” Still grinning about that. Yay!

And despite feeling like I was showing up with no plan or ability to be on task today I have managed to get everything together and organized and absolutely set for the next two days in time to finally update my lj. 🙂 Go me. And I found time to go get lunch with my buddy and I went over the entries for the MLK Jr contest and submitted my official judging ballot. Damn I’m on task today

Have I mentioned lately that I love my friends? And that I love my husband even more than all of my friends combined? We’ve been talking a lot about my insecurities (you know–all those things that live in my head and really aren’t about him despite the fact that they inadvertently affect our relationship?) and he is just so amazing. He is supportive and tolerant and he is getting WAY better at standing up for his own boundaries as he supports me. I couldn’t be prouder of him. 🙂 Yay. Ok, still feeling overwhelmed and that is scary. But my life is really good.

Teaching ups and downs.

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Last night when I was calling my no-show kids’ parents I talked to one father about his kid not being here. I mentioned that I knew he had been upset lately about the court case he was involved in and I didn’t want to pressure him and… Yeah. The dad got really upset and said he knew nothing about it. The kid had told me that it was something he was worried about talking about and I thought, “Oh shit… his dad doesn’t know?!” So I freaked out thinking I had violated his trust, I have gotten him in trouble, OH GOD this is going to be bad. I fretted all night long.

Today he tells me in class that he needs to talk to me after school about the situation. I felt like shit for the rest of the day. After school I took him outside and started apologizing profusely. Then he very stiltingly and haltingly let me know that when he gets really stressed out and uncomfortable sometimes he has trouble admitting what is really going on and sometimes he tells lies and… I interrupted him and said, “Wait… you were lying about the court case?” “Uhm…. yeah” He turned bright red and was visibly shaking. I started laughing hysterically and fell over backwards. I thanked him for relieving my guilt and explained that I have been feeling awful for a while. He said this is the first time anyone has ever thanked him for lying. I told him that him lying about this was better than me betraying a major confidence.

He came back in and settled in to work in a good mood and made a lot of progress. 🙂

I have had about a dozen parents tell me that they are deeply grateful that I am holding their kids after school so they can raise their grades. I’m feeling really good about the effort.

Mmmmm in-laws…

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So, I went to Texas. We flew into Houston and rented a car and drove to Austin. Did I mention that we arrived at about midnight and didn’t get on the road until one in the morning? We got to Austin and into our hotel at four in the morning. I managed to be remarkably cheerful throughout this entire journey and given my fierce need for predictable sleep this was nearly a miracle. We fitfully slept. Come morning we woke up and stumbled over towards Noah’s brothers house. I did my best to hang back and keep my mouth shut but eventually I ended up talking to his brother’s friends and his brothers a bit. I did my best to say little to his parents. By the end of the day I found I was thrilled to have met his brother’s friends and I think they are totally spiffy people.

The Friday after Thanksgiving we went back to his brother’s house and had Fat Tammies for breakfast. Holy cow were they good. Mashed potatoes and hash browns wrapped around meat. Oh Baby. I spent more time trying to talk to the siblings and hide from the parents, but that got harder as there were fewer people in the house. I did have a conversation about school systems and book worthiness with the parents but I quite consciously kept my comments very limited. When his parents left we had a good time talking more with the siblings and I think my sister-in-law completely rocks. At some point during the day she looked at Noah’s brother and said, “Finally I have someone to talk to while you tell stupid jokes.” *grin* I couldn’t have said it better! She also asked if they could see my tat and I explained the story. As is fairly typical they were not overly communicative; it is a heavy sort of story. Then we drove to Huntsville to stay at his parent’s house. We all sat and talked for a bit but I went to bed at around 10 with the goal of giving his parents time with him without me. He stayed up talking to them for a couple more hours. I got to enjoy book time and talk to japlady on the phone. She says I will get used to things, I disagree at this point.

Saturday we went for a walk with his parents and younger sister after breakfast. I thought it mostly went well. On the way back I was egging his sister on telling her to get a stick and hit Noah with it while I held his hands. This resulted in his mother fiercely berating his younger sister for how she “always goes too far.” I stuck up for the sister saying that I felt the situation was mostly my fault and not his younger sister’s as I had been egging her on the whole time. This resulted in some muttering and a tirade about how I don’t understand the problem. I didn’t say anything. We ran off after that and spent a few hours with Noah’s aunt. I am SO adopting her. I adore the woman. She is fiercely funny and eccentric and very strong-minded. I have a lot of appreciation for someone who really goes their own path. We went back to his parents’ house at his mother’s insistence that we “freshen up” before dinner. Uhm, ok. But we did it. Then we had an ok dinner. By this time I had already told Noah that I should probably not say anything at all if we want to have any kind of peace.

After dinner we wanted to head to bed seeing as we needed to get up at 4. This was 9:30. His parents said they wanted to talk to him for 15 minutes and they wanted me to not be there. Oh great. Yay! They are going to bitch about my behavior! Noah says that bitching about me was only for a little while. Then it turned into a huge long thing about his mother’s culture and how no one respects it. She apparently included some bits about how she can’t be held accountable for her actions because she had a bad childhood. . . . . Yeah. Words escape me. This conversation lasted over two hours and only really ended because I walked over to the house and asked for the car keys so I could get stuff out of the trunk to finish packing. I was incredibly pissed off and I was only as vaguely calm as I was because I have amazing friends who can talk me down. I seriously thought about just leaving. He came back and was tired and didn’t really want to talk about it, but in my charming way I made it pretty clear that I wasn’t going to calm down until we did. So he sucked it up and he tried to explain the gist of the conversation. This was tough to do as he was very tired. He made it pretty clear that most of the conversation wasn’t about me, but I was still pissed that I was the impetus. Apparently I am too loud, I have too many opinions, I am rude, and I don’t give my elders proper respect. I certainly acknowledge that I am loud, no problems admitting that. I have a lot of opinions and I think everyone should. I really don’t believe I was rude on this trip. I am not in denial about the fact that I can be rude, but I was completely on best behavior on this trip and Noah agrees that I was good. And god damnit, I give people exactly as much respect as they earn. And fuck you if you think you deserve more that you aren’t getting.

Needless to say, the trip home starting at 4 am wasn’t thrilling. We talked a lot. I feel pretty safe and secure that Noah isn’t going to demand that I behave in ways which are contrary to my ethics and personal needs. It was hard to get to that point though. And our conversations in general were pretty strained and tough and made worse because we were both so tired. 🙁 I think we are doing ok though. His mother’s comment when I left the house with the keys last night was, “Ut oh, we are all in trouble now.” I resent the comment. Noah isn’t in trouble. I wanted some explanation of what was going on from Noah and he gave it to me as well as he was able. I think his dad is pretty whipped and there isn’t much point in talking to the man as long as his wife hates me because he won’t be allowed to have a decent opinion of me. And I think his mom is going to hate me no matter what. Not worth anyone being in trouble.

So I like the extended family more than I thought I would. But his parents… that’s going to be an ongoing problem. *sigh*

What’s in a name?

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I generally won’t put my name on this journal, but some things must be said.

According to the DMV and Social Security my name is Kristine Lenora Gibbs. Wow, this is so real.

It is very odd that I feel like things are still unsettled and yet they are getting so much more comfortable. We bicker and fight more than is strictly speaking a great thing, but it seems like we are making progress. At least we don’t keep bitching about the same things. 🙂

I’m so very happy that I made this decision. Please God, let me keep this.

small brag

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I just read the sub log from Friday. I’ve been freaked out cause I got the awful sub. He said over and over how great and amazing my kids were and how he didn’t have to do anything to enforce discipline.

Duh. My kids wouldn’t dare.

Ok, that’s my brag for the day. 🙂

(Have I mentioned that my kids *love* me? They won’t mess up because then I get upset and ask what I have done that has let them down so much that they think that behavior is acceptable.)

I will be positive, damnit.

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Today I have a kid in class for the second time this year. I barely recognize her. I consider this a victory even though I had nothing to do with it. I have comp & lit kids borrowing: Slut, Bitch, Cutting, and a book about coming out. They are all rather sophisticated books on interesting topics despite the names. 🙂 They are doing an amazing job of reading. My kids are now keeping reading logs and their reading rate has gone up significantly. They are *reading* for 20 minutes a day without complaint or falling asleep. (Ok, once in a while someone dozes a bit, but they are usually sick or under a lot of stress.)

This is successful. I’m amazed. 🙂 I have more classroom participation than my mentor teacher can believe. She taught this class for 9 years and she is flat out shocked at how well my kids are doing. That feels so good.

Slacking will commence

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I have decided that I will be staying home on Friday. I haven’t had a single day completely off of work in almost 6 weeks. Every day I at least grade papers or lesson plan. I need a break. This isn’t optional anymore.

On Thursday I am having dinner with a lovely lady who asked me to spend some time with her last weekend and I wasn’t available. Her invitation came after a few hours of feeling miserably lonely and like no one cared about seeing me unless I made all of the effort. The timing was so incredibly wonderful. All of a sudden I felt like someone really liked me and I really needed that. Thank you.

So this weekend on Friday I will stay home and get all of the furniture out of my house that Noah and I no longer want to keep. I will be moving it into the driveway and then posting an ad on Craigslist saying first come first served. I just want it gone. I am going to do the legwork for getting rid of the truck. I am going to hopefully get to the stage of arrange for someone to come and get it. I am going to fill out the last of the paperwork for changing my name and send it in. I am going to go to the DMV and deal with all of that mess (HOV stickers and changing my drivers license).

I have invited some friends over for dinner, invitation is pending waiting on their schedule. It would be really nice to see them because I haven’t gotten much social time in a while. I need snuggles. But if they need time at home that is very understandable as I have needed a lot of that time lately myself.

Saturday I am going to slack like mad during the day. Then I am going to a friend’s birthday bbq for some awesome snuggles. I will do *no* work.

Sunday I am going to slack all day. Maybe… watch a movie. Eat some Devon Cream and jam on tasty bread with my gorgeous husband. I will do *no* work.

This weekend I will be reminded that I have the best friends and the best husband ever. And I will revel in every minute of it.

Random acts of kindness

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A couple of months ago a guy from bondage.com sent me a flirtatious email and I had to let him know that I was involved and more or less off the market for what he was looking for. (He lives in LA and wants pretty strict monogamy.) Yesterday I got around to letting b.com know that I got married and he sent me an email saying congratulations and good luck.

Very random and sweet. People rock.

Looking for wonderful.

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Yesterday when I was sick and very cranky my kids were lovely angels and very considerate all day. They are generally pretty good but they were outrageously good yesterday.

Today they have been fun and silly only a little rowdy.

I am in a fabulous mood today. Last night I didn’t sleep much at all but I got to talk to my baby about all sorts of scary things and get upset and get over it and have some Very Hot Sex.

My desk looks kind of messy, but I am going to be able to leave right after work to go start my weekend.

I’m taking home a bunch of stuff this weekend. My contacts binder so I can call parents and chat a bit about how their kidlets are doing. (Maybe on Sunday?) Lots of grading that my baby is going to help me do. (It isn’t like his vocabulary is any worse than mine–in fact his is better.)

My kids are keeping on top of things remarkably well. I’m actually surprised in that very happy way.

I get to see friends this weekend. That will be nice. I also cancelled doing the higher stress con. And it looks like I am going to get to play anyway! Yay!!

I’m telling you. Everything looks brighter with really hot sex.

Welcome to the educational system

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I suppose this is what I get for all that time skipping school. I wasn’t exposed to as many varieties of illness so now I am getting sick left and right. My stomach and intestinal track hate me.

I offered the little darlings 5 points for the day if I don’t have to yell at anyone. 🙂 Basically, I asked them to show me mercy. We’ll see how it goes.

Ok, honestly–I anticipate good results. I am very understanding of people not feeling well in general and I tend to help them out when they aren’t at their best. Lots of leeway and such.

Ooooooh! And they are getting out books when they finish their tests WITHOUT PROMPTING!!! Ok, even though I feel like I was hit by a truck I anticipate a good day. *happy finger dance of joy which does not require upseting my stomach*

Made my freakin day

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I just got this email from a parent.

Mrs. A,

Hi my name is J. M. I am N’s mom. I just wanted to send you a little note to let you know how much N needs your class. Although he went to a private school for 9 years, the writing program was very week. He suffered last year and is now in your class.

N came home the first day and said, “Mom, I totally need this class. She is going to really teach us how to write. She went on to tell us how important writing will be for the rest of our lives.” I must say I was impressed with his reaction to what you said.

I will do my best to keep him motivated and on top of his homework. I will be checking school loop every day. I would like to send off an email to you a couple times a month, just for checks and balances and to keep on top of any missed assignments, should there be any. I know you have a million kids all day long, but I hope we can stay in touch periodically through email.

I look forward to a great year for N and him learning how to write properly!

Have a fantastic weekend!

dudethissorocksmysocksoff!!!!

Edited cause I’m a dork.

School Loop = online source where teachers post assignments and do their gradebook so that students and parents can stay up to date.