Tag Archives: yay

Progress.

5 Replies

So we’re up to 8 days of suck. It’s been exciting. But we’ve also been steadily making progress. We’ve figured out how to work around my, “I don’t announce in a group that I am upset–EVER” thing in order to usefully communicate. That was good. We’ve talked more about how time should be spent in general at group events. We have talked a lot about what we each want from play and how to get there. And last night we made up an Actual Rule. We modeled it off a friend. His rule is that he can’t date anyone crazier than him cause HE is the psycho in the relationship. We modified that a bit. Noah isn’t allowed to date anyone crazier than me. I’m the psycho in his life. This pleases me, because as much as I am crazy–I don’t deny this–I’m a fairly low drama crazy. Other crazy chicks are very high drama and they make my life suck. No more. 🙂

And you know, the best part? That as we are going through some conversations that are not fun and not easy to have, well they are getting easier. I’m feeling less defensive and hostile before we even begin cause he is actually listening to me and responding to my concerns on an ongoing basis, so why get hostile? And boy my throat is happy about the lower volumes. I think I’m picking the right boy.

Oh, and Angela, Joe, and Ali–thank you. Thank you more than I can ever express. I love you all soooo much. I’m grateful that you are my friends. Thank you for listening to my angst and hurt and helping me get through them to the useful parts.

A quick babble

4 Replies

I had a lovely weekend. I got to spend some time with multiple really awesome people. Snuggly time. Time walking and talking with a really terrific girl. Time driving around admiring houses with another spiffy girl. Lots and lots of Noah time–not enough, but that is the state of my life right now.

This weekend it was pointed out to me that my level of social connectedness is highly unusual. What a strange thought. Me? Have lots of friends? Whatever happened to the prophesy that no one would ever like me because I am such an awful person? Guess mom was wrong again. 🙂

I’m looking at a beautiful bouquet of roses. I’m glancing around my messy living room and deciding how I want to clean it today. How I want to paint it next month. What I think it will look like in 5 years.

I am so very happy.

Time is so fleeting

4 Replies

Right now I have a lovely boy sleeping in my bed. There are moments when I curse being a morning person.

I did not use my time wisely last night because while his plane was delayed I should have found a handicapped bathroom so we could fuck before even leaving the airport. Instead, I sat in the walkway waiting and had a very drunk, very obnoxious guy hassle me for about 20 minutes. I guess wearing a ridiculously short and intensely red dress will get attention. So we didn’t get to fuck at the airport. Very sad.

I dragged him to the grocery store after that so we could figure out what we want to eat this weekend. It was fun to fondle his ass and kiss him into silence periodically. He responds so easily to any aggressive actions. Once or twice he did remind me that he is bigger and stronger than me and can have his way if he wants it and that is even hotter.

When we got home I started putting dinner together and got distracted. Oh baby did we get distracted. I have had conservative friends ask in judgmental voices why I want to have more than one lover. Sometimes I want to tell them that I continue to want new lovers partially because of that moment of discovery one has with new or rare partners. When taking someones close off is still a great surprise and gift. That moment when someone will push me down and say, “No, I just want to look at you” and then devour my body with his (or her) eyes only. That moment gives me more happiness and self-regard building than most. That is when I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I have beauty. I am a big believer that being in love with someone positively colors one’s regard of them–which is hardly a bad thing–but it makes judgment of beauty more biased.

I also got to introduce him to the concept of different sizes of condoms. Hey, who knew that they could actually feel comfortable? Silly boy. (Fellas–I’m telling you. Try out different sizes and brands!!)

When we finished we went and found dinner on legs shaking from exertion. After eating we passed out well before 11. This allowed us to wake up in the middle of the night when just the proximity of one another lead to more desire.

Now I have been awake for about an hour. In two hours my boys get to all meet. I am nervous but excited.

Positive

1 Reply

This morning I said some things to my love that were hard to say. I don’t know that I would have been able to say them to someone else. But because I can say those things to him I know he is the right one.

Last night I found out that a boy I had totally written off as uninterested is actually very interested and has not been able to get me out of his head. Ha. Too bad I’m not available darling. But it is still an ego boost.

I get to see someone tonight who makes me smile and laugh and feel giddy. This NRE stuff is AWESOME.

I have gotten to be supportive of a friend going through a rough patch right now and I feel good that I can provide that even with my hectic life.

Seventeen of my students passed the reading quiz today. Two others tried hard but didn’t quite pass. Of the remaining twelve students only one was present the day we got the books and today. (So eleven kids either don’t have the book yet or were absent today. Attendence is an issue for my school.) I know that at least six of those kids will take it tomorrow and probably pass. If my prediction is correct I will have twenty three passing grades on the first quiz of the unit. Yes, out of thirty two. You think that sounds kind of sucky? Well, three of the nine who will fail it haven’t been in class for the past two months and there is no hope for them. My kids are actually doing really well. Many of the teachers in my department have as many or more kids with F’s and they have smaller classes. (Freshman teachers have 17-20 kids per class and they each have at least nine kids failing.) For the most part my kids are trying. I am very proud of them. They were awesome in class today. They asked me questions about the book and were attentive and participated. I walked out of class with a huge smile.

Today is such a good day.

Ups and Downs.

4 Replies

Yeah, I have those down things. But then I stop and seriously think about how absolutely rockin my life is right now. I get to go spend time with Google Boy this weekend. (It’ll be great. He’s on call; I have homework.) Noah is off with a shiny and that is just awesome. Google Boy wants to take Noah out for a drink. I think this should wait until Portland Boy is in town–hell, it’s only 15 days from now–and all four of us can go have a drink or 3. 🙂 Have I mentioned how much I LOVE being passed around among boys I am into? *swoon* I’m so terribly excited. I had a wonderful weekend with Noah last weekend. I get to spend more time with Google Boy than I ever have before. (He has made some interesting requests about what I should bring. I will not volunteer that cause it would break Dana’s head just a wee bit more.) I am getting closer to done on my papers. (Squeeeee!!!) I get to Portland Boy sooooooooon. He will be Mine ALL MINE (unless he wants to be shared) for three whole days! YAY!!!

And you know what? The bestest part of getting to bounce off of Portland Boy and Google Boy is I get to come back to my Noah. Adventure AND safety. Dude, embrace the power of and! Things are uhhhhh going well with us. About as well as I hoped and better than I expected. How often does one get to say that? During my spastastic behavior of the last week he has been wonderfully supportive. He knew exactly what kind of bitch he was getting so I am trying not to feel too guilty for my mood swings. 😀

Ok, less with the babbling. Does anyone know of anything superfun that I should drag PB (I’m getting tired of writing it out) to on the 13th of May?

Yeah, that’s right baby–stroke it.

9 Replies

Stroke my ego.

I just had a conversation with a parent about her kid’s grade. He has a 77% and at first she was kind of fussy about it being that low. Then we talked a bit longer about how I don’t think an A is something that should be expected … ever … and she started to see that the kiddo is doing pretty well. Then I pointed out a couple of areas where he is missing lots of points because he missed a few key assignments. Oops.

By the end she told me that she has actually been surprised because she hasn’t heard from me much. Normally he is a serious discipline case (hmmm … I suppose I do see him sitting in front of the VP’s office a couple times a week …) and does significantly less work than he does for me. She was fussy at first because he has been claiming that he hasn’t missed an assignment at all. Then we checked attendence versus missed assignments. Oops. He just doesn’t deal with stuff from when he gets sick. Then she asked how often he ditches. Uhhh… I don’t think he has ever ditched my class. Apparently this is shocking. He has been sick a few times, but not much.

Further conversation lead to the disclosure that he normally is nasty and belligerent with his teachers and ditches a couple of times a week. She says I am probably his favorite teacher so far in high school based on his behavior in class, his attendance, and his willingness to do as much work as he has done.

*blink*

YAY!!!!!!!

I don’t know why he likes me, but it’s great! I think he is an incredibly bright kid and he has always been very sweet with me. When I snap off my normal, “Shut up!” he grins and quiets down. He takes most notes (not all, but only the Asian kids take notes all the time) and contributes great stuff to class discussions. My ego is so incredibly stroked. Yay! Yay! Yay!!

Very amusing.

Leave a reply

Google boy just asked me for a copy of my Users Guide. I think he feels all sassy after his first time ever of tying a girl up.

It’s so cute. I no longer believe I am going to break him easily, but I’m still being gentle with him. 🙂 That might change next Friday. We are going to have our first weekend night date where we get to spend a lot of time together. Yikes! He is really into the idea of me seriously dressing up. This is going to be a lot of fun. Yay!!

Sexy

8 Replies

Portland boy (I need a better nick and I am so not using the one he hands out) decided, rather spur of the moment, to come visit me in May.

Damn this is going to be hot.

*giggle* Yay for crushes! Yay for wonderful boyfriends who think it is cute when I have a crush!

How did this happen again?

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

5 Replies

So, I went and talked to the main teacher of the nasty girl from yesterday and got permission to talk to the kid for a few minutes at the beginning of the period.

When she saw me standing there she tensed up visibly and I could see the hostile energy starting but I managed to stay totally positive. I asked her what was going on yesterday because we just seemed to escalate nastiness and it made me feel really awful when I left the class. I talked about my inappropriate escalation and how as a teacher I am not able to give in to power struggles in class and why I have to stand my ground on issues. I talked about how to approach me to explain (in a nice way) that I might want to give them some slack because they are working and I don’t need to come down so hard. We talked back and forth about tone of voice and how often it isn’t what you say, but how you say it that is a problem. We shared that we are both OTR and prone to being nasty and how that isn’t really an excuse but it is a factor. We discussed how we can both try to stop nastiness from occuring in the future (I will be subbing for her class again).

I am jubilent. I feel really happy that I managed to talk it out with the student and probably lessen any potential future conflict.

You know what, I may be growing up.

Unexpected ally

2 Replies

I spent a little over an hour last night standing outside the parking garage talking with my poetry prof. (THANK YOU PETER!!!!!!!) I am going to go in next week and talk to him for an hour or so before class.

He is going to help me figure out what book I should read to do the paper for my Cal Lit incomplete. He understands the issue with that prof and was incredibly sympathetic. Guess it isn’t just me that she is a total bitch to.

He is going to bring me information on poetry for my own students as well as talk with me more in depth about the ones I need to know for the comp exams in April

He is going to go over a few novels with me to make sure I am all set for the rest of the comp exams.

Have I mentioned that I have been totally psyching myself out and I have been freaked out about the comp exams? I have been thinking that there would be no way for me to pass because I haven’t read enough novels and I certainly don’t know enough about poetry.

YAY!!!! He is also being encouraging of me writing in general but that is a generic English person thing to do. I am so glad that Peter convinced me to take this poetry class instead of the other one.