Tag Archives: yay

So awesome.

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I realized that I have gotten to have four dates in the past three weeks. (Ok, two of them are technically happening this week.) That’s amazing. I remain absolutely convinced that as wonderful as Noah is to be married to, he is even better to have an affair with. I have played with people who might have more technical skill in some specific area of bdsm but no one who has ever been able to climb inside my head and fuck with me the way he can. He is hands down the best lover I have ever had. He is attentive and sweet and a mean son-of-a-bitch. I so win. I get to keep him forever.

(Oh, and that cryptic entry… geez folks. Yes the sex will be with Noah. :P)

Benefits

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I think one of the most significant benefits of being married to Noah is just how enthusiastic he is about my looks/body. My friend Marcie took some pictures of Shanna and I recently and I was actually pretty surprised by how big I am. I don’t feel that big, but I guess I am. They are really cute pictures and I don’t think I look bad I just look heavy. No wonder I’m getting asked so often if I’m pregnant. 😀 I expressed to Noah my surprise at how heavy I look and he said, “Mmmmm. Yeah, you are totally hot.”

If I were really concerned about being thin he would be the worst person to be married to. I’m not that fussed though so he’s just awesome.

Looking up

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So I was feeling all grumpy and cranky for a bit. Then we had sex. Then I was miraculously in a good mood. I think there is some sort of correlation there. 😛

Yesterday during Tango class I started having significant pain in my right buttock. Like a muscle spasm. It really sucked. Luckily I married the best boy ever and he worked on my thigh/butt/back and it stopped being agonizing pain. Now it is merely discomfort. It’s progress!

On the dance class front: mostly I’m having a great time. Last night I had a series of guys who had no frame so I started feeling a little frustrated with them. Luckily I kept managing to get the same specific guy over and over and he actually had frame so that was nice. 🙂 Noah is doing far better than he gives himself credit for. I think he has to overcome his mental block around “I’m a bad dancer” because when he’s not stressed out and freaking out he does alright. 🙂

I’m getting to socialize a lot lately and that is really awesome. It’s really wonderful that I am spending so much time with lots of friends. w00t!

In general things just feel so much better. I hate the hormones that come along with being a chick sometimes.

Good day

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It looks like they are getting started on my roof very soon! Yay! And I get to feel awesome about the fact that I am the first customer for the guy who will be installing my solar panels. (He has a lot of experience but he recently started his own business. He is the ex-boyfriend of my sister and they are still friends. I’ve known him for almost a decade and he is a really good guy.) We also got a hit on the books we listed on Amazon. So between taking most of our books to the used book store and putting this one set on Amazon we made over $300. (Are you happy, Rebecca?) That’s probably only like 10% of what we originally paid, but such is life. It’s better than nothing. 🙂

Shanna’s toys are now organized and out where she can play with them. I’m probably two solid days of working away from being done in the garage. I feel competent and cheerful. At this point my only big angst is the comp exam and there isn’t a thing in the world I can do about it. Have I mentioned that I’m grateful that I no longer have to study? It feels really good.

Dancing

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I haven’t mentioned it, but Noah signed us up for tango lessons. 🙂 We’ve been to one so far and it’s fun.

And in other news we might just go to PEERS this weekend. Noah is more than a little into Girl Genius so the theme is too perfect. Now we have the problem of finding stuff to wear. I have Victorian garb, but I may or may not be able to get my expanded body into it. And I’ll certainly need to get my corset back from Yani before I can even try. If anyone is going or not going and they have Victorian garb for a body that is more like a size 14 could I maybe borrow it if you aren’t using it? And I have no idea what Noah is going to wear. Hmmmmm…..

Amusingly, in order to study costume stuff I had to admit that I bought him Girl Genius comics for his birthday. 🙂

{milestones} First sign

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I missed a little bit of poop, I could hear it, and I took her in to the diaper changing table. It was only a tiny bit so I asked her if she needed to go more or if she was all done using signs. She signed more! So I took her in to the bathroom, put her on her potty, and she peed and pooped lots!

It wasn’t a picture perfect, text-book ASL sign but it was really close. I would accept that as her sign for more. When she finished peeing/pooping she started clapping. I think that clapping is her ‘all done’. 😀

up

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It’s to the point where I get really excited about waking up in the middle of the night if Shanna stays asleep. This is the most consistent ‘alone time’ I get.

I haven’t written about the Oklahoma trip. It was… interesting. I think I had forgotten or been unaware of just how closed minded the family is. I almost turned to my mom’s friend and said, “Have I mentioned that I’m queer. I’ve probably fucked more girls than both of your sons combined.” I wanted to do this because they had multiple books on their coffee table about the homosexual agenda and how homosexuals are ruining this great country. Great. I was asked if I was going back to work when Shanna goes to school and the response when I said I would be homeschooling was, “Well, that’s a choice.” Yup. It is. And fuck you very much as well Mr. Sunshine.

Oh, and when Shanna fell out of the bathtub and hit her head I talked to her about why I was asking her to sit down. My mom listened in and then said, “I told you too but you see how that turned out.” ?? In general as a mom you told me to do stuff and I didn’t listen? “I told you not to do things as a teenager but you didn’t listen to me and you got raped. See what happens when you don’t listen to me?” ?!?!?!?! WHAT?! Oh my fucking god. She said she didn’t understand why her comment was different than me telling a ten month old, “See honey, that is why I asked you to sit down. I’m sorry you hurt your head.” Though she did apologize the next morning–I guess that is progress.

I hate doing that quantity of driving sans cruise control. It’s crummy.

I realized recently that most of the people I’ve been spending time with are female and close to my age. This is such a bizarre change compared to the rest of my life. But you know what? I can’t complain. I really appreciate the friendships that have deepened in the past year and some. It’s really good to learn more about the people who think I’m worth going out of their way for.

Eventful.

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When I got up I thought today would be boring. I thought I would go to Whole Foods with my neighbor and maybe hit the nursery (for plant matter–not baby). Well, it was a starting plan.

I went to the nursery this morning and spent quite a while figuring out what sorts of veggies to put into the pots in my back yard. I selected two varieties of tomatoes (one is best for paste the other is best for being more solid like and mixes in well for sauce), squash, sweet basil, oregano, sweet peas, and a neato sounding pepper. I was planning to try and put them into pots basically immediately but when I got home I was derailed by a phone call from my mother.

It turns out that a family friend died this morning. She was 79 and in extremely poor health so I can’t really call it a shock. My mother and I had been planning to go out to Oklahoma to see them this summer at a big birthday party. It turns out that we will instead be flying out on Tuesday for a funeral. It took a while to find reasonable airfares for both of us.

Then I went to Whole Foods with my neighbor. We both had a lot of fun wandering around looking at the sheer variety of pretentious food. Of course we both spent too much money. Oy. That place is dangerous. While we were there we ran into one of my former students. It was quite lovely as she danced with joy and told her three friends extensively about how I was the best teacher ever. She was not one of my most dedicated students so we spent a lot of time together in 8th period social club getting to know one another. 🙂 It was great to see that she is trying to go to college. On the ride home my neighbor told me, essentially, that I make her feel kind of stupid because I know so many things and can answer in depth questions on such a wide variety of topics. I think that it was made even worse when she figured out that I am seven years younger than her. I don’t think she is stupid, I think she is simply asking questions about things that I have researched and she hasn’t. Oy. But I helped her realize a few things about her marriage and that’s to the good.

I came home and spent a while talking to Noah about how frustrated he is at work right now. I wish there was more I could do to help him. Then I made the rest of the arrangements for the trip to Oklahoma. Then I sat down for a few minutes to catch up on the internet and I received a phone call from Debbie! This is always exciting. She lives in Taiwan right now so I don’t get to talk to her much. I’m glad that she has been awesome about keeping in touch with me. 🙂

Noah decided that it would be a good plan for him to go to the gym for a while after dinner because it will be a break from thinking. As he was getting ready to run out the door he casually mentioned that his parents are trying really hard to come out here for Shanna’s birthday.

It’s been a day.

Freedom!

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Noah is taking Shanna out for a few hours. I’m going to take a bath. I’m going to shave my entire legs instead of just the really awful part below my knee. I’m going to have a glass of wine. (I really don’t care that it is 11am.) I’m going to read in the tub until the water is freezing. I’m going to use all the lovely skin-softening bath products I own and never use. I’m going to straighten my hair.

I’m not going to do a single chore.

I could get used to this.

Coolest Kid Ever!

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I put Shanna on the floor in the living to play while I went to the bathroom. Once I got there I realized that she hadn’t peed yet since her nap. So I called out to her that if she needed to pee she should come to the bathroom. So she crawled from the living room to the bathroom. I put her on the potty. Then she peed. She’s nine months old.

HOW COOL IS THAT!

What a lovely day

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One of Noah’s college friends invited us over yesterday to play games and ignore the super bowl. That worked for me. 🙂 I had such a great time. The entire attitude towards the games made me happy. People weren’t overly competitive and were quite cheerful about handing over a card that might help someone else “just because you are so nice.” That is exactly the sort of attitude I wish more people had about games. In cut-throat games I get angry and feel hostile and usually want to hit someone. I’m so happy that I got to have a pleasant gaming experience. I played three new-to-me games and even though I had to ask a lot of questions and get help no one was snotty or condescending.

See, this makes me want to play more. Most of the time when I play games with people I don’t have any interest in playing for years.

Yay!

One of the many benefits of my husband.

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He’s perfectly happy to pretend that he cares about something trivial and he fakes empathy really well. This means that when I say, “I want you to express an opinion about this” he will come up with something and usually something that more or less agrees with my preferences. Well, when I’m asking about something that he doesn’t actually care about. If he cares then he doesn’t always agree with me. But I can drag him to the pattern store and tell him he gets to help me pick out a pattern and he will actually do it! Isn’t that great?! 🙂

Good party, mellow weekend.

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Last night we went to Winter Bash and had a good time. I’m not as social at these events as I possibly could be because I don’t know many people. But I really like the people I do talk to. Miss Jenny took pity on me and danced with me. It was very awesome of her. I was feeling bad because I couldn’t remember any of the ECD stuff at all but she went and got her ipod during a break and we did swing dancing and waltzed instead. Miss Jenny wins! I should bring her extra cookies soon as a reward. 🙂 I was also given pictures! Both from Miss Jenny and from Master Fiddler himself. whoo hoo!

On the drive home Noah and I talked about people (as we are wont to do). One of our biggest focuses this time was Master Fiddler. We talked about how good a job he does at creating an environment where everyone who comes to his house can feel at home even if they are rare visitors who don’t know many people. We talked about the specific things he does that create this vibe. Then we went on to discussing his place in the group in general. I mention this here because part of the crux of the conversation was about how much importance I place on the word “Master”. It’s cause of that history in the bdsm world. I take the word “Master” rather freakin seriously and you have to *earn* it. He really has. Not just because of his exceptional musical talent, but through the way in which he is absolutely the default answer for how things go musically for a rather lot of people. It was pretty nice to think in detail about how rocking he is. I like knowing people who have truly become a Master.

And we talked a lot about Noah’s job. It looks like he is going to spend a lot of time working so I am even more glad that we are not having a party. Instead we will be staying home and I’ll be puttering as usual and he will be working. It’s like we jumped right to Monday. I’m sure he will take extra breaks for cuddling though and that will be nice. My daughter just woke up so I will go play with her now. 🙂

A very good day.

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Today I made four batches of Cinnamon rolls. This was after a fudge on the first attempt when the dough wouldn’t rise. Bother. I also made and put in the fridge: molasses crinkle dough, sugar cookie dough, and refrigerator cookies.

I went through nearly 10 lbs of flour and like 3 lbs of sugar. I need to go buy more flour before I can make more cookies. 🙂

This is so much more fun that studying for the comp exam. 🙂 I asked Noah for a laptop-free day and he was awesome about it. He read me some Peter Beagle stuff for a while and he spent some time reading The Moral Animal and talking to me about it. We also MST3K’ed a few Christmas movies. It’s really been a wonderful day. 🙂

And now my darling little boobie monster is falling asleep while eating. I’ve been impressed by her overall good nature today as I’ve spent very little time with her.

Adventures with food

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You know how sometimes when you poop you can tell exactly what you had to eat? By that metric, Shanna’s first food was Great Fir.

And it seems that her first favorite food is banana. She’s still not that thrilled with broccoli or avocado, but she’s starting to lurch for banana. And she’s chewing! It’s very cute to watch. 🙂 Still no sign of teeth. I’m probably grateful given that she’s still my little booby-monster.

And right now I am alone in my house. I’m not sure what to do with myself. Hm. On one hand I feel like I should go do chores. On the other hand–this is the first hour I have been alone in my house in over six months, screw chores.

hmmm

Looking up

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This morning I had a couple of reasons to feel morose. One was the comp exam and the second was personal enough that I am not going to explicitly state it on livejournal. ooooh cryptic

I went and saw a prof at SJSU about the comp exam. He told me that I barely failed and it was because I was too general. He said it is pretty obvious that I know the material and what I should do to prep for the next time is do more practice runs of timed writing trials to push myself into better form for such excursions. I can do that. No more reading? No more reading!! (Although I will probably do some more reading.) And the poetry section was my strongest essay. How is that for funny?

The second thing that made me morose has been a bit of a roller coaster ride for the past couple of weeks. Things on that front are now to a level that I feel good about. *phew*

Oh, and I got a B+ on my last Spanish test and she gave us most of the questions for the final in class tonight and we did them as a group. Things are looking way the heck up tonight.

Balance

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A long-time friend unfriended me recently so I wondered what I had posted that was so awful. After reviewing my recent entries I have come to the conclusion that it probably had nothing to do with what I am posting.

I did notice that I post about negative stuff a lot. That’s lame because I am generally in a good mood and my life is good. I’m not sure why it is easier to bitch and whine.

I spend a lot of my time reading (books I want to read- yay!), putzing around doing chores and errands, and caring for Shanna. I am finding that because most of my life is just so nifty that I feel extra frustrated when I feel frustrated at all. That seems odd to me.

I’m really enjoying being a homebody. I get out to socialize one or two times a week and I run errands usually one day a week. I double up on socializing and errands sometimes when Miss Laura wants to see me. 🙂

Next week I have finals for Spanish. I am going to start baking on Thursday. I’m pretty excited. 🙂

Mixed bag

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Yesterday went extremely well. The only hitches in Thanksgiving were that everyone showed up late due to an accident on 880 so no one ate any of the appetizers (big freakin deal) and my sister/niece forgot the apple pie and rolls they promised (Sissy ran to Safeway and bought a pie and I had sneakily bought rolls Just In Case).

Everyone got along fantastically well. I was astonished. We had far fewer people than anticipated due to losing five people yesterday morning for a myriad of reasons. It was really nice though. I would go so far as to say I had a lot of fun. Towards the end of the evening Noah corralled all the youngsters into playing Give Me the Brain and Lord of the Fries for a while so I’m pretty sure he had a blast. 🙂 My mom and sister and I played Rummy and I lost abysmally but remained fairly cheerful. Shanna was on her absolute best behavior all day while playing by herself or being handed from relative to relative. Of course this means that my whole family is convinced that I have an abnormally mellow/good baby. 🙂

I did very little of the cooking and about half of the prep. Noah earned big fat credits that will probably turn into extra gaming time for him this weekend because he was so awesome. 🙂 The food was all thoroughly excellent and we have leftovers upon leftovers.

Even the rest of my mom’s visit was really good once the dog left. And the day we dropped the dog off I went to the high school I used to work at for a while and visited. Everyone made much of me telling me how much they miss me and how awesome I am. I felt really special and loved.

And over all of this wonderfulness is the pall that I am terrified of the comp exam. One more chance. I get one more chance before I have wasted years and years of work. I am so scared.