Tag Archives: yay

I did it! I did it!

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I made Noah come with oral sex! … Wait, you say so what? No no no…. you don’t understand. Noah is one of those, “I don’t come from oral sex” people. The kind who says, “It’s happened a few times ever but those times were flukes and there isn’t much point in trying.” Well, HA! I’ve totally been paying attention and playing with technique and it worked! I did it!

I am no longer inferior!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

And now I go off to therapy where my therapist will congratulate me for overcoming this obstacle. (Dude, it’s kind of sad how much time in therapy has been spent talking about how pathetic I have felt for being inferior in this area.)

Oregon rocks

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Cause they have wifi at the rest stops. This so rocks. 🙂

I got to see a wonderful, gorgeous woman last night and talk to her for hours. I have lots of appreciation for such rare visits. Tonight I get to see *another* wonderful, gorgeous woman. My life–it does not suck. 🙂

Much missing of my Noah. Much thinking and smiling and enjoying the beautiful road. I am taking 101 all the way north instead of cutting over to 5 early on cause it’s prettier. There are still a bunch of Portland and Seattle folks I haven’t heard from so it looks like a bunch of this trip may consist of hanging out in random public places in Portland showing Noah around. I hope my memory is up to the task…

Running away

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Today I run away from home. I’m going north. I’m only go to be there for three days before Noah joins me. I think that is for the best because more than three days and we are pretty pathetic. I look forward to the time I am going to have with friends. I look forward to taking Noah on his first backpacking trip. I look forward to showing him Portland and Seattle as I feel very comfortable in both towns. Look! Stuff he hasn’t done! Squee! Maybe feeling consciously the things I am sharing will make me feel less twitchy about the stuff that he shares. Here’s to hope!

I will be back though. California, and specifically the bay area, is home. But running away from home can be fun at times.

Just life

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I slept for just shy of 10 hours last night. That is highly unusual for me. Normally I wake up around 7 1/2 hours. I think I am making up for the school year.

I’m reading a lot, both on the internet and actual books. It feels really nice to not be pressured or on a deadline.

My lovely husband rocks so hard. He came home from work last night and did most of the work to make dinner. Then we had a fabulous date night. I married the best perv ever! (Ok, so there are still a few skillz I would like him to develop but he is coming along nicely…) This “communication” stuff is really handy.

I’ve been talking to Tom more and feeling more comfortable about it. I still feel a bit tense when I watch him playing (I don’t spend much time doing this) but there is less tension and more happiness that he is happy. I really do love him and want him to be happy and I know that he never would have had all that he needed with me. And I really am better off with Noah so it’s a win all the way around. I think I feel so connected to him still because he was the first person to love me so much or so well and I try very hard to appreciate what people do for me. The fact that what he had to give ended up not being enough in the long run is really not his fault.

Alright, I’ll say it. Off birth control. Don’t know when anything more interesting is going to actually happen as I have no control over that. Lots of looking down and chanting “ovulate!!” I amuse me. The first two weeks I was pretty batty and all over the place emotionally but that has passed and I’m feeling generally pretty cheerful. The fact that it coincided with lots of job stress and then no job stress probably helps.

Still having a hard time believing that I am not too difficult to put up with. Noah says I’m ok, but it’s hard. I’m so scared of pushing him away and I know I am tempermental. Gah. Have to just accept that I’ll never be placid or even tempered. Suckful acceptance.

My body is being weird. I think it is mostly that I am sitting on my ass too much. I’m stiff and sore most places most of the time. I’m also a wee bit chunkier than is optimal for normal usage. (My jeans don’t really fit.) Other than that: my hair is freshly red and my jaw hurts all the time. Looks like braces are mandatory. Damnit! I really hate dental stuff.

Family stuff continues to suck. I’m thinking that I should do another six months or so without talking to any of them. My mom recently asked me to have dinner so she could give me my baby pictures because she doesn’t want them. This following on the heels of her telling me that my bio-family isn’t my family, my chosen family is along with her threatening to sue me if I publicly disclose stuff about my life… yeah. I think maybe it’s time for some non-talking. My sister doesn’t even want me to know where she lives–as in she has told her children they are not to give me their address. Awesome. Jimmy still doesn’t want to speak to me and may never again. My aunt doesn’t believe me about the stuff that has been happening because she has never heard about it before from anyone else. Yeah. Just… yeah. That’s ok. I have a Mom who wants to be part of my life. I have a Dad and a Daddy both of whom love me and dote on me and give me the kind of support I need. I have people all over the country who love me and support me. I suppose my mother is right. I do have a family and she isn’t part of it.

Computer woes continue. At least this time I managed to back everything up. Heh. Still thinking about buying an Apple instead of a PC. Luckily, I have my work computer to use over the summer so it isn’t mandatory yet.

Given the impending kidlet situation, having two vehicles that don’t place one of us at serious risk of injury daily is a mandatory situation. I’ve been looking around and I’m pretty sure I want a Mazda 5. (The Prius was supposed to be Noah’s car from the start…) I have wanted an Element for years, but seeing as there could be three booster seats in our future, a four seater vehicle is just not an option. *sigh* There goes that dream. Is ok. Babies are more interesting than a vehicle I can clean with a hose. 🙂 It’s going to be a bit more expensive than we were hoping for, but it will be doable.

My student loan debt will be gone before school starts again. We will have just the mortgage in debt and that is such a nice feeling.

Kids are scheduled to come paint the house when I get back from the honeymoon. I’m actually looking forward to it. 🙂

I leave on Monday to see my friends and Noah is joining me on Thursday. We are going to be backpacking for a week. I’m so excited!

Life… life is not completely 100% perfect, but life is good.

Cleaning up and out.

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My homeschool kid is working so I have to kill time apparently not working today so I am not going to be killing a bunch of time at ST. Instead I am going to frantically finish cleaning out the stuff I want to clean out and run over to his house. I will be home by about 3pm. Dear God I am so excited. Yay!!!

Freedom is calling!!!!

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

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Also known as the last day of school!!!

I would like to get out and be more social. I miss going to parties, but my bandwidth for large groups is likely to stay small for a while as I decompress from work. I am really interested in seeing people.

So! When/what/where would be interesting? Anyone want to see me? (Make the assumption that night time engagements will include Noah unless very specifically stated.) I’m not promising that I will meet absolutely every request for time, but I miss people lots and would like to get in some social time before my brain is sucked out again.

Fuckin yay!

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My principal is backing me up against the pscyho parents.

Many seniors have offered to buy me tickets to graduation because they want me to go. (One actually got a ticket for me and a ticket for Noah.)

My babies played “I never” with me during 3rd period and let me not admit just how many I had done, but the game was funny.

Most want me to sign their year books.

Kids brought me ice cream for breakfast.

A very sweet girl brought me flowers! Dude. She is failing the class, but she still loves me. I so win.

Organization! Yay!

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Next year I get to change how my room works. I’m very very excited. 😀 This year I didn’t have time to reorganize before the year. Plotting is keeping me busy.

See, I hate rows. Maybe when I get things set up I will post pictures because I’m dorky enough to think people might care.

{dirtier} Yay!

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We went to a sex party recently. We settled in to playing right next to a really hot couple. I’m now sorta flirting with the boy of that couple on tribe. Sorta flirting because most of it is about how us having sex near one another (not with) again would be massively hot.

I really really liked watching them have sex. 🙂 I’m glad they enjoyed being watched and may let me do it again! *giggle*

(Re: headache. Ibuprofen is the best invention of our time.)

Assignment

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We are reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest in the junior class. I’m trying to get them to understand the general cruelty of the nurses and the orderlies so I went searching on the internet for something that would be applicable. I discovered the Milgram Experiment (google it if you like, I’m not cool enough to imbed URLs from the web client) and thought A Ha! So I found many websites with interesting information and I tried to figure out how to present the data to the kids.

What I had them do was fill out a questionnaire on how much cruelty they believe they would be willing to mete out, then how much they believe other people would mete out. Does it matter if an authority tells you to? Why would someone do as they were told? And a few other questions I can’t remember.

Then I handed them the reports about the Milgram Experiment, but see…. I was sneaky. Before I printed the information I formatted it to have big gaps between paragraphs. Then when I printed it I cut them out into strips. Then I mixed the strips up. The kids have to put the paragraphs together in order so that they can read the reports. So not only are they getting nifty information but they have to do problem solving and work in a group for collaborative learning. Then once they have it all together they have to respond to the information and we are discussing it. Sweet.

The kids are doing fabulously well. Of course they are whining about working–but they are working. 🙂

Much yay

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Today I get to go in three hours late without having to bend the rules because I am an honest and straightforward person. So screw you to all of my dishonest colleagues. (Rant maybe forthcoming on that one.)

This morning I got all of the prep work done for the next few days that has been making me nervous. Sweet.

Today, I checked the bank account and saw what would have been once upon a time a staggering amount of money. At this point it isn’t staggering, but it is certainly plenty so that my darling husband could be out of work for months before I would worry even one iota about him finding a job. My salary is enough to keep us afloat and we have a beautiful cushion for just about any “just in case.” Oh, and the only debt we have left is the mortgage and my student loans due to me masterfully managing our money and paying off a rather large amount of debt in the past six months. Go me.

Yesterday I got to see my lovely Sarah, though only briefly, and she presented me with the baby clothes she has acquired so far. The fact that I am not the only one joyfully anticipating me getting pregnant lets me feel a sense of family and attachment I wouldn’t have believed I would get. Thank you Sarah; thank you for being my family. Eight more weeks until I stop taking birth control. The days are flying by…

Including today I have 31 more days of educational opportunity remaining with my kidlets. But that includes finals and weird schedules and I don’t see any of the individual classes that many times. Really I only have 22 more days with each individual class. Eeeek! Must get through this book! But I have a good solid unit plan in front of me and I am confident that I will get through it and my babies will do well.

Life is really good.

Thank the Goddess

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This was so easy. Asleep, then woozy for like 3 hours. Right now part of my mouth is still numb but otherwise I feel completely fine.

I love anesthesia. I’ve eaten mashed potatoes, jello, and soup. And my baby is the most wonderful baby in the whole wide world for taking care of me. 🙂

School babble (doubt anyone cares)

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I was looking at my numbers. I realistically have 105 juniors. There are 5 more who are technically enrolled, but I never see them so I don’t feel like they count for my purposes. 40 of them showed up on Saturday for help on the paper. A slightly overlapping but not entirely similar group of 17 kids turned in the paper early. That’s really good. Effectively, almost 40% of my juniors are willing to come in on Saturday for help. That’s huge. And it was almost fun. 🙂 But I refuse to call it fun cause dude–that’s my Saturday.

More than one kid expressed hope that I will do this again with other big assignments. Holy crap. They want to give up weekend time to get help?!!

Weekend good, computer bad.

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I had a pretty fabulous weekend. Vegas rocked. I felt some constant frustration that I couldn’t stay up late, but that’s how my life goes. (I wake up at 5am most days and pass out by about 9. My internal clock does not appreciate attempts to fuck with the system.) We saw amazing shows and it is really interesting how Noah and I like different things in performances. He is really into the big technical spectacle and I want audience participation and silliness. S’all good. 🙂 For me, once they demonstrate that the stage can move around and do neat stuff I’m impressed for about 2 minutes, then I want to get back to them proving that the actors have talent and are nifty. Yeah I know, your stage moves–so what? But, he loves them moving the stage and blowing fire. I will continue to think Zumanity was the best anyhow. 😉

Holy shit crowded. It was apparently a bad weekend to be there. Though we got to stand very close to Dennis Rodman. I vaguely sort of recognized that he was some famous basketball player–I had to ask an employee of the casino who he was. 🙂

So much happened. I want to tell it all, but I have laundry to do and an evila to pick up from the airport.

My current bitch is that my god damn computer isn’t working. And my email can’t be reached at all. Good thing I have the work laptop as a back up. *sigh*

Mmmm yay

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Last night we had an amazingly tasty dinner at The Plumed Horse. It’s a fancy French restaurant in Saratoga. He had the venison, I had the Kobe beef. He talked me into trying foie gras (I think I spelled it right). I had a freakin tasty salad. He seemed to enjoy his chocolate fondant; I worshipped my Grand Marnier souffle. (Spel?) And I don’t know what kind of wine we had, but I enjoyed the hell out of most of the bottle on my own. *grin*

By the time we got home I was absolutely smashed, oh… there was also a very tasty glass of ice wine at the end.

I have decided that I need to stop drinking hard alcohol and become a wino. Hard alcohol makes my tummy hurt and wine doesn’t. 🙂 Yay for smashed and no hangover or tummy ache!

And the after party at our house… damn. *happy sigh* I loves my husband.

So today I am drowsy and very mellow and happy. It’ll be a good day.